I wasn’t gonna post anything today…

I wasn’t gonna post a blog today because I couldn’t decide on a topic. That was until I came across this freakish picture while browsing the news this evening:

I don’t even know where to start… perhaps under the bridge where this alien-handed circus freak is chained up. This picture is like one of those M.C. Escher staircases, no matter how long I stare, I just can’t make sense of it. I have so many questions… Are those hands or feet? Human or Chimpanzee? Is that a colony of giant walking sticks carrying an iphone back to the nest? Chernobyl still has gardeners? Did she help clean up the Fukushima disaster without gloves?

You could stand in New York and hitch a ride from Boston with those damn things. Her other 8 fingers are all cowering away from the relentless Godzilla thumbs. And aside from the literal ‘gross anatomy,’ why are the nails not completely painted to the cuticle? Are all the hand models of the world on strike right now!? Who holds their phone like that!? Did she mangle both hands in some farm machinery and now has to dial 911!? If that’s the case why is she playing around on notepad? Oh, it’s probably because of those unruly King Kong thumbs… somebody call an ambulance, tell ’em to bring two extra femur splints!

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