Here’s a moist towelette, wipe off that charcoal smudge you call a mustache. Yea bullshit it’s real, wipe it off! I said get against the wall! Quit moving around all weird and herky-jerky, this is no time for spin moves and dancing, THIS IS SERIOUS!
Now before I start breaking every bone in your effeminate, monkey-like body I’m… QUIT POINTING AT ME AND THRUSTING YOUR HIPS AROUND LIKE THAT! Don’t you understand I’m about to hurt you!? THIS IS A KIDNAPPING DAMMIT!
My whole life I’ve been plagued by your feigned mystique, your rapidly changing name and slightly bothersome cranial shape. Your ever-morphing wispy facial hair designs makes a grown man want to sling poo at the walls!
What’s that? You think I have pretty eyes? Well thank you. Maybe we can loosen those restraints a little… wait a minute I’m not falling for your slimy charm monkey boy!
Get back against the wall and quit trying to touch my face!