Sippin’ Amaretto


Dear Hardcore Gangsta Rapper,

I realize that the word Amaretto rhymes with many other words in your highly developed, mind-expanding raps. However, what you may have failed to realize is that Amaretto is usually a spirit consumed by those aging individuals who poop their pants and wear Life Alert® bracelets in case they fall.

Gucci Mane

Of course I understand that after a long day of holding your pants up and limping around like you have a leg that doesn’t bend at the knee, you just want to sip a mild, refreshing beverage distilled from apricot pits because strawberry daiquiris hurt your hardcore tummy. I totally understand after a busy week of swearing in front of children, that you just want to take the edge off with a beverage Italian nannies use to cook with. But consider what this may doing to your hardcore image.

In conclusion, please don’t kill the messenger or smash a bottle of expensive bubbly across my face next time you see me in VIP. I’m only telling you this because I think it will help your tough-guy image if you start rhyming about single malt Scotch or Bourbon while you serenade society’s downfall.



7 thoughts on “Sippin’ Amaretto

  1. unicornkat96

    That is too funny! But hey, I love an Amaretto sour drink. But only because I broke up with every liquor on the shelf. I did it to myself with all my curiosity when I turned 21 and drank a little too much. 🙂

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