Captions

I got in one little fight and my mom got scared  And said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-air"

I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
and said “You’re moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-air!”

"Giddyup you fat fuck!"

“You are truly one cheeseburger of a horse Xavier! The hounds of Hell are on thy heels giddyup Fattie!”

"If thou insist upon humming Freebird, do it over there!"

“If thou insists upon singing that goddamned Maroon 5 song, do it over there!”

baby on the floor!

“Really Mary? You call that a manger?” 

AHHH! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW!

“When I was your age I had to ride a seashell to school, pulled by two demon dolphins, upstream both ways through a sea of centaurs and domestic violence!”

The Nativity

“Joseph, my animals must eat, but your woman and child hath been lounging around on the feed all day!”

"she had dumps like a truck truck truck, guys like what what what"

“Philipe, why don’t you come out from under there and go play with the other children?”

Look here pilgrims, this here is what we doctors refer to as arm strings

“Excuse me Josiah, do you mind sharing with the class what thou hast found so funny?”

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2 thoughts on “Captions

  1. authormbeyer

    Brilliant! All art museums need to start supplying captions. It will help make all the pictures of colored squiggles and medieval naked people make so much more sense!

    Reply

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