Art Criticism 101

The kids in Mrs. Wellington’s 1st grade class have had the opportunity to display their artwork for the community’s Art in the Park series this summer. We went down to check it out and offer up a review of what we saw from the latest class of budding artists.

upperdeck.net

A grotesque attempt at landscape and perspective to put it lightly. Oddly enough the young artist featured here has grasped the lofty concept of refraction wavelengths as seen by his proper use of ROY-G-BIV, yet he can’t conceptualize a goddamned flock of birds… or should I say, flock of flying K’s. Don’t quit your day job kid.

easton-crying-2

children's coloring butterfly

Put this one on the fridge! And by fridge I mean the trash. This artist must’ve been in a full body cast when he pinched off this turd. A truly piss-poor choice of color. Terra Cotta Brown and Raspberry Violet on the same palette!? Why don’t we just finger-paint with vomit? I do appreciate the use of negative space, ie. not coloring in the rest, but the piece is just horrible and lacks any clear vision whatsoever.

120117_DX_ChildCrying.jpg.CROP.rectangle3-large

trash

Somebody tell Alek that fish need water to breathe. This bullshit may earn you points in Mrs. Wellington’s classroom but here on Earth we have a little thing called gravity. Next time, tell your mom to pack some coloring tutorials along with your Lunchables, because last time I checked boats don’t fucking fly. Your gratuitous use of yellow has created a depressing environment for the spring breakers on their floating bar… or maybe they’re refugees trying to escape this horrible drawing? Either way, lay off the LSD Alek.

crying-baseball-boy

 

Advertisements

One thought on “Art Criticism 101

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s