The Custodian


The custodian in the Hospital cafeteria thinks pretty highly of himself. He shuffles around chest out, shoulders back, over-confidently pretending to wipe tables his whole shift. Any human being without a traumatic brain injury would notice the tables smell far worse than before he wiped them. It’s called mildew stupid. Mildew happens when you stow your wet rag in a manner that it cannot dry out. That bottom of the hamper smell; somewhere between zoo animal and football stadium urinal. The ‘tard probably stuffs the rag in his locker everyday, next to his pristine SF Giants hat and $300 Nikes. He no doubt sleeps under a bridge, but rest assured he’s got the latest Jordans.¬†Stupidity works that way. Like an ape that knows how to peel a banana but forgets the next step and ends up starving to death.


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