Category Archives: Waiting tables

The Life of a Waiter vol. 2

When a table asks me for something but I’m not their waiter:

When a food runner drops the wrong dish at my table:

When a table requests a different table after I’ve poured all of them water:

Every old person’s reaction when I ask how their meal is:

“Excuse me waiter, could you take our picture?”

After my last table finally decides to leave:

Table leaves 25%

The Life of a Waiter vol.1

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The Life of a Waiter vol. 1

“We aren’t really hungry, can we just order some drinks?”

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“I’m sorry, we are out of the fettuccine tonight.”

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“Excuse me waiter, can you take 35 in cash and split the rest between these 4 cards”

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For every old fart who asks for lemon and Splenda with their water:

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“Is there anything on the menu that’s vegan?”

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We stop serving at 11:00 and someone comes in at 10:54

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How I feel when hot girls are seated in my section:

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What I wished hot girls felt when they find out I’m their waiter:

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How they really feel:

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Everyone who says they have a gluten allergy:

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“That party of 10 just tipped on top of the 18% auto gratuity!”

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Everyone in the restaurant when you break a glass:

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Two people on a date start kissing at the table:

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“You’re gonna take table 54, can you bring them a highchair and two booster seats?”

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“No, the chef does not allow substitutions”

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When I clear an empty plate and they jokingly say: “We didn’t like it”

The Life of a Waiter vol. 2